Comments on: Dont Put the We in Welcome Emails

By: Buy PSP Go

Buy PSP Go — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 09:52:44 +0000

Good bit of marketing psychology there, you have to always make you’re readers or customers feel like they are being addressed.

By: Janis Lanka

Janis Lanka — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:23:34 +0000

Fun little tool. Definitely something to use when you think your copy is final. Kind of “second opinion” tool.

By: Galerie

Galerie — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:04:32 +0000

Great…I will change mine!!

By: Educational Toys

Educational Toys — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 03:10:41 +0000

Heh! Neat tool. I checked two of my websites. I was surprised – I’d have assumed we did better on the one that we actually did worse on. (And see, I did it a bunch in this comment too!)

By: Carla

Carla — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:36:04 +0000

Great post. I already updated my website to get rid of some of the “we” and added you and yours. I’m sure it will make a difference in how the customer relates to the site and products.

By: Michael Straker

Michael Straker — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:24:15 +0000

I suspect few recipients would read the original welcome message. Depending on context, perhaps it could be eliminated entirely, or replaced with a simple “Thanks for signing up!”

If the message truly is necessary, daniel’s re-write is certainly an improvement.

I’d like to see it even shorter. (And I’m remove the “exceeding your expectations” bit, as it has become cliche.)

By: daniel

daniel — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:01:21 +0000

@John. Looks like – in between patting themselves on the back – they were trying to say “don’t worry – we’ve moved online, but it’s the same great service”. Based on that, here’s a quick shot at a less self-centric rewrite:

—
Hi there. Thanks for signing up to our emails.

The online store is new, but our hope is it will exceed your expectations just like we have for the last 51 years through our stores and catalogs.

Now that you’ve got our email address, feel free to drop us an email if you feel we could improve anything.

http://www.website.com

By: Linda Bustos

Linda Bustos — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:51:45 +0000

Would love some copywriting rockstars to post their revamp suggestions…

By: Jon Jennings

Jon Jennings — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:12:11 +0000

OK then smarty… I know you’re not a copy-writer but how would you rewrite that sample email?

I suspect the answer is “I wouldn’t”. Sure, you could say something like “it’s now easier than ever for you to order from us”… but is the customer really interested in how difficult it USED to be to order from you? I think the correct solution is to talk about something else entirely.

By: Adrian Dunevein

Adrian Dunevein — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:00:05 +0000

Well I tried my URL and “we” are getting 85%. I may be getting old but I’m not quite “we-ing” myself just yet!

Great post, as usual